Ever had a time when you were short of words in a conversation?
No, not when you were talking to the girl in your dreams. Not even when you were asked to explain about your day time by your wife ( This does seem to be a touchy topic for men, btw). What I mean is a simple conversation with someone. It can be a friend you are meeting after a long time or a colleague you are catching up with. It can be a conversation between siblings or even one between 2 random people standing over the airport boarding counter.
Have you ever noticed, we fall short of conversation material most of the times? What are the indicators? The fact that we check out our watch while conversing repeatedly, when we take out the smart phones we hold so dear every 2 minutes into a conversation, or we pray to God the other person talks about something new while we drag on explaining our company history. There are interesting things that we Gujaratis ( and most Indians ) do when we want a conversation to end or shift to a new topic. For example, An Uncle calls me and asks, ” Aur bhai… Kya chal Raha hai?“. Just when I am done explaining a very uninteresting account of last 1 month, he starts looking at his watch and asks, “Aur Dusra kya chal Raha hai?“. Don’t wince, you all do it.
The other day, I was listening to a radio show. Supposedly the radio host was leaving the show after several years of hosting and entertaining the listeners and he was taking impromptu calls from listeners. A lady called and posed sentimental question as to why he was leaving and how he is breaking hearts by leaving. After his reply where he makes her laugh, she asks in reply, “Biju su chale? Aje su karvanu?“. I was like, whaaaaat? You are live on radio and you are asking this? Do you think that guy is going to share his love life or his dental appointment date with you? And this wasn’t the end of it. She followed up, “Mara Mummy Papa yaad ape che. Tame avo kyarek ghare Amara gaamde? Majama rehjo “. While this might have sounded sweet in 1967, Lady this is 2020. Don’t laugh, This is what most of us do. We feel awkward while conversing.
Digital age has a lot to do with it. Tell me if I am wrong, most of us feel comfortable writing a long message than making a 1 min call and talking with someone. There is nothing wrong in it. It’s better than not speaking or not able to speak. But, I wonder, why can’t we do an effective 1-1 communication? I can understand if you are mortified of the opposite person, if it’s the girl friend or your angry dad or her angry mother 🙂 But what’s stopping you to talk to ourselvesteshbhai or Jigneshbhai from your work?
This makes me wonder, are there certain tips or ways we can have better personal conversation?
1) Gossip
â—‹ Discuss the most recent update of attire disaster or a friend’s action. Gossips bring out the most natural and many times the most ugly parts of ourselves out. But it also makes us laugh. We Indians love Gossip. News channels today are More gossip than news. Personally, I don’t prefer such conversations when in formal settings, as people do judge you for what you say. Families and best friends are better partners for innocent gossips.
Lalita ki Chachi ki bhatiji ke bete ki behen ne Kal kya kiya woh batao!
2) Ask
â—‹ People generally walk upto a gentleman/ lady in a networking session and ask them what’s their profession or ask their city based on their accent or conversation they hear.
â—‹ You Ask a fellow traveller on Bus or local where they are heading?
â—‹ If you are pitching to a client, you ask questions to understand the nature of their operations or what drives them.
Questions form a big part of continuing conversations and are mostly very instructive and useful mutually, but for most people ( say 75% people ), they really feel uncomfortable doing it.
3) Share
â—‹ In a group of say 10 or 100 people, people generally get into limelight by sharing their extraordinary achievements and that increases their pull for others to start getting attracted to them.
â—‹ With a group of homemakers, a lady would generally share a nice recipe of a food item or certain problems she faces at home and perhaps even a solution to it she applied.
I am not an Expert into Communication or linguistics, but I do know that there is a universal problem the Gen Y, Millenials and people like me face today.
It would definitely be great if we have decent communication today. Awkwardness is all around when you think a conversation.